Cameron, I really like that you chose to write your Storybook on Creek stories--that will be a very interesting topic, and I'm sure the stories will be great once you develop them. Your introduction gave me a lot of great background information to help understand where you are planning to go with this project. So the information is spot on! I would suggest reading through the introduction again, though, and looking for spelling and grammar. I noticed you spelled lessons as lesions, and some words shoulf be in their plural form within the sentences (like clans rather than clan in some cases). Also, when you are telling your first person stories, how do you plan to connect them all together, or are you planning on doing so? Could they be sitting arounf a fire and telling each other these stories? But overall, I think this introduction is a really great start to what I believe will be a great storybook! Good job!
Hey Cameron! Good to have you in my group again. I think it is great that you are writing a Storybook about the Creek tribe. It is important for people to know the history and background of where they came from and as Oklahomans, the Creek Nation played and still pay a major role in our great state. The four stories you chose seem to be really interesting, too. Each seem to have their own message and meaning which will allow you to explore a lot of different options and come up with some really great stories in the next four weeks. I think Tahira did a good job of giving you some revisions that you can make to make this story even better. Overall, I think you are off to a great start and I am looking forward to where this story takes you. I am especially interested in reading your story on the Hunters' Wife in a few weeks. That story seems to have the best meaning to me and I am excited to see your research and way of telling this story. Keep up the good work and keep on the same track!
First off I love the website, nice, clean, and crisp. Some of the examples I have saw from previous semesters were horrible. I love the Creek stories. I ALMOST did a storybook myself over the different fire stories from different Native American cultures. I also thought about doing one on just the Creek stories too since I am Creek. The Earnest Gouge book is very interesting and I especially love the cover. I’m going to assume that you have already saw this site, but just in case, here it is: http://lingspace.wm.edu/lingspace/creek/ If you click on the Beginning Dictionary link, there is a great resource for a lot of commonly used words if you don’t already know Creek. I also like how you added a little history to the introduction. It’s good to know what has happened and a little bit about the life and values of the Creek people. I look forward to coming back and checking out your stories!
Hey, Cameron! Firstly, I really like your website layout! It looks really nice and put together. The images you chose to use also tie into your Storybook perfectly. Your introduction was really informative and you described your choice and the stories nicely. I don't know anything about Creek stories, so your introduction definitely sparked my interest! The historical context was greatly appreciated. I think it's important to offer background information when possible. In terms of writing, I thought you did a nice job dividing up your paragraphs. I also liked how you highlighted the stories you want to work on. The only thing I would say that you might want to improve is just your spelling in some parts of the intro. Other than that, I think you're good to go! You've inspired me to read up on Creek stories, so thank you for that. I can't wait to read more of your material!
Hey Cameron! I am very interested to see where you Creek stories go. I am from Kansas City originally and have a very limited knowledge of Native American tribes in Oklahoma, so I look forward to hopefully gaining some more insight into the Creek through your storybook. I thought the layout of your introduction looked great, very clean. One small thing I noticed was that I think you have a typo in the third or fourth sentence with "writing" instead of "written". I think it's great you already know exactly the stories you are going to tell - I am still in the planning phase for all of that haha. I also think your introduction gives great historical context for the stories you are about to tell, because I really didn't know any of that information. After reading it I'm very interested to see where everything with you storybook goes!
I thought the Introduction was very informative and gave the reader a preface to the collection of stories. Instead of talking deeply about the various stories at the beginning, you talked about your choice of style for the storybook. When there are more stories, this will help the reader prepare for the rest of the storybook.
I would include those pieces of information (i.e. writing in third person) at the end of the introduction instead of the beginning. Another suggestion would be to break up the first paragraph so the introduction looks less intimidating, or maybe add the image in the middle of the writing instead of the end.
That is so cool that, “Margaret Mauldin was the main instigator in revitalizing the Creek language and was actually a professor at the University of Oklahoma!” I took Cherokee for three semesters at OU, so I have an appreciation for the different Indian languages offered at our school.
Great job on your introduction! I am excited to read more about your Creek stories.
Your introduction was very interesting, and it looks like you'll have a solid framework upon which to write your stories. I'm glad you included the explanation of what New Fire is. Otherwise, I would've had no idea... I think that writing them in a first person point of view will be very interesting to read, and I wish you luck while doing it. For me, first person is sometimes the hardest to write.
The stories you chose look like they definitely each teach a lesson, which seems like it was often the most important part of Native American tales. I'd suggest that you definitely focus on the lesson in each and make sure that it comes across in your first person retelling. I look forward to reading your Creek stories, and the picture you chose is really cool! Good introduction so far, and good luck on the rest of your storybook.
Hey Cameron! I thought your introduction was very informative as well; that's awesome that Margaret was apart of the University of Oklahoma. It gives your story a little bit more of a "homey" connection. I think your idea to include each of the morals of the story in your introduction also gives the reader a perfect idea of exactly what they are about to dive into. I also really enjoyed your first story, and I think your idea to change the stories to a first person point of view was an excellent choice. It gives the stories a lot more personality. I was a really easy read, and it flowed really well. The only minor revisions I would suggest would be in your story in the second to last paragraph I think it says "prefect" rather than "perfect". That's really the only noticeable thing I saw. Other than that, great job!
Cameron, I enjoyed your first story in your Storybook. I thought your introduction establishes the theme of the Storybook well, but I do think it is at times too impersonal, and maybe an explanation of why you chose it or what interests you about Creek culture and stories. Your background was very valuable in setting up the context for the stories, though. I think that changing the layout of your site to be more colorful or engaging might add to the stories in an indirect way. I think still keeping your site simple will keep the focus on the stories, but adding some color will make it a little more interesting to look at. Also, I thought your text was a little small, so perhaps making it larger would make it easier to read for anyone who comes across it. Your photos were great, and add to the story in a great way. The cow was adorable, and I’m glad he discovered that he is perfect just the way he is! I also can’t imagine eating a whole field of cabbage, but alas, I’m not a cow, and I’m glad for that.
I have already read your introduction before and I was really looking forward to reading your stories. As I said before I love your website, it is clean and easy to read! However, the font size and the font color for “Cow Wants a Knife” is way smaller and MAY be a different color than the rest which makes that story difficult to read.
What an excellent story “Cow Wants a Knife” was! I love the way you added more inner dialogue of the Cow so that you knew what he or she was thinking. Being happy with yourself is a great lesson for everyone to learn. I think it’s getting harder and harder everyday in our world for people to be happy, period. I think most people tend to want to be bigger, smaller; taller, shorter; blonde, brown; that we tend to forget to be happy with just who we are.
Waddup Cameron! I read your introduction a few weeks ago, so it was good to come back and read your first story. I thought it had a great message and was really creative. I thought the whole perspective was cool and something everyone could learn from. Be happy and satisfied with what you have. It was cool that you told this story through a cow. Very unexpected!
I agree with Nicole, your website is very clean and crisp. This makes it easy to read and you broke up your paragraphs well which made your story flow really well. Besides that you did a great job and I didn't see many changes that needed to be made.
Thanks for the good story, I really enjoyed it and it was a great reminder for me! Looking forward to seeing where yo take your other stories.
Hey Cameron. I thought that your introduction was great. I'm glad you told us what "New Fire" was in the introduction because I would have had no idea. I also like that you give explanations/summaries of the stories that will be within your storybook before we read them. It is also cool that this is an interest of yours and I really liked that you gave some Creek historical details within your introduction.
I really enjoyed your first story, "Cow Wants a Knife." I thought that it was an excellent lesson taught at the end. You also told it in a very creative way, which made it entertaining. In addition to that, you gave some great details that made it an even better read. Great job with your first story and I'm looking forward reading the rest.
Great job with the theme of your storybook. Although it is very simple, I think it looks very great. Sometimes a clean look like that is the best look to go after. I also really enjoyed the fire picture that you used at the beginning of your storybook. It gave me a very warm feel upon reading your storybook. Your introduction did a great job at bringing me into the story. You did a great job writing it and it had a really good flow to it. After reading the introduction, I was really excited to get to read your stories. Also after telling us what “New Fire” was, it made a lot more since as to the picture of the fire that you used at the beginning. I read the story, “Cow Wants a Knife”. I thought it was a really great story. The details of the story were the best part and made it a lot more fun to read. Great work, and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
Cameron, your sight was very clean and simple. I think with the theme of the story I would have liked to have seen a little bit more color but your site was very clean and easy to navigate. The soft grey text against the white background was easy to make out and read. The first page made me think of being gathered around a campfire listening/ telling stories, so if that was your goal, then great job! The dialogue in your story “Stork Father” is excellent. It made me feel as though I was there in the story. You do a great job personifying Stork as the narrator; I imagine him as a large burly, stone-faced man. I did not catch any grammar or spelling errors but it does not hurt to read through the story one more time aloud to catch anything you or I may have missed. Otherwise, great job!
First off, I like the layout of your blog. Many people in this class have background pictures that are too busy and distracting. I think it was smart to choose a white background because it looks clean and it makes your text and pictures easy to view.
I enjoyed reading your introduction. I think that it's a clever idea to have retold the stories from the first person perspective because it makes the stories more personal. This helps the reader to really connect with the characters and the plot on a deeper level. In your first story, Cow Wants a Knife, I liked your use of dialogue.
My only suggestion would be to put the pictures in the middle of your story. That way it breaks up the text and makes it easier to view. Overall, great job. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the upcoming weeks.
Cameron, I think your storybook theme of Creek stories id amazing! I am currently taking Cherokee so, it is cool to see someone else retelling other Native stories. I my Native American music class, we talked a little about the Creek culture and music. I even got to go to a Muscogee Creek performance last night and hear some of the members of a Creek church perform a few Muscogee Creek hymns and it was awesome. I liked your retelling of the Creek story of Cow Wants a Knife. The story was short, sweet, and to the point and the style of the story reminded me a lot of Aesop’s Fables. The moral or lesson of the story was very clear and I liked that you didn’t feel the need to over complicate the story and drag it out. I also liked that you put more of the cow’s thoughts and perspectives into the story. Good job with your storybook project!
Hey Cameron. For starters, I think the structure of your site looks great. It isn't too busy or complicated, just very simple and smooth. I enjoyed your introduction - it let the reader know exactly what to expect from the Storybook as a whole. I also appreciated the background you offered on the original stories, it makes reading your versions more interesting because the reader understands more. As for the stories themselves, they're well-written and don't seem to have much in the way of spelling or grammar problems. What you might consider is changing your introduction for each of them. It's effective in setting the stage and preparing the reader, but I think you could be more creative with it and provide more of a hook so that the reader really wants to keep reading. Once I got into them I found your stories to be very interesting, but a different intro could really serve to suck the reader in. All in all, a good job!
Hi Cameron, I think you have done a great job with your storybook. I had not seen a storybook with the table of contents above the stories until yours, but I really like it. Your site is very easy to navigate and easy to read. The structure of your introduction was very informative and provided a lot of background that would help in the reading and understanding of your storybook. I think that was a good idea because there are probably a lot of people who are not familiar with these stories. The lesson's in your stories were really good as well. I liked how you focused on the character's feelings and I think it makes the lessons easier to realize and understand. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook and think you have done an awesome job. Thank you for the good read!
Cameron, I really like that you chose to write your Storybook on Creek stories--that will be a very interesting topic, and I'm sure the stories will be great once you develop them. Your introduction gave me a lot of great background information to help understand where you are planning to go with this project. So the information is spot on! I would suggest reading through the introduction again, though, and looking for spelling and grammar. I noticed you spelled lessons as lesions, and some words shoulf be in their plural form within the sentences (like clans rather than clan in some cases). Also, when you are telling your first person stories, how do you plan to connect them all together, or are you planning on doing so? Could they be sitting arounf a fire and telling each other these stories? But overall, I think this introduction is a really great start to what I believe will be a great storybook! Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Cameron! Good to have you in my group again. I think it is great that you are writing a Storybook about the Creek tribe. It is important for people to know the history and background of where they came from and as Oklahomans, the Creek Nation played and still pay a major role in our great state. The four stories you chose seem to be really interesting, too. Each seem to have their own message and meaning which will allow you to explore a lot of different options and come up with some really great stories in the next four weeks. I think Tahira did a good job of giving you some revisions that you can make to make this story even better. Overall, I think you are off to a great start and I am looking forward to where this story takes you. I am especially interested in reading your story on the Hunters' Wife in a few weeks. That story seems to have the best meaning to me and I am excited to see your research and way of telling this story. Keep up the good work and keep on the same track!
ReplyDeleteFirst off I love the website, nice, clean, and crisp. Some of the examples I have saw from previous semesters were horrible.
ReplyDeleteI love the Creek stories. I ALMOST did a storybook myself over the different fire stories from different Native American cultures. I also thought about doing one on just the Creek stories too since I am Creek. The Earnest Gouge book is very interesting and I especially love the cover. I’m going to assume that you have already saw this site, but just in case, here it is: http://lingspace.wm.edu/lingspace/creek/ If you click on the Beginning Dictionary link, there is a great resource for a lot of commonly used words if you don’t already know Creek. I also like how you added a little history to the introduction. It’s good to know what has happened and a little bit about the life and values of the Creek people. I look forward to coming back and checking out your stories!
Hey, Cameron! Firstly, I really like your website layout! It looks really nice and put together. The images you chose to use also tie into your Storybook perfectly. Your introduction was really informative and you described your choice and the stories nicely. I don't know anything about Creek stories, so your introduction definitely sparked my interest! The historical context was greatly appreciated. I think it's important to offer background information when possible. In terms of writing, I thought you did a nice job dividing up your paragraphs. I also liked how you highlighted the stories you want to work on. The only thing I would say that you might want to improve is just your spelling in some parts of the intro. Other than that, I think you're good to go! You've inspired me to read up on Creek stories, so thank you for that. I can't wait to read more of your material!
ReplyDeleteHey Cameron! I am very interested to see where you Creek stories go. I am from Kansas City originally and have a very limited knowledge of Native American tribes in Oklahoma, so I look forward to hopefully gaining some more insight into the Creek through your storybook. I thought the layout of your introduction looked great, very clean. One small thing I noticed was that I think you have a typo in the third or fourth sentence with "writing" instead of "written". I think it's great you already know exactly the stories you are going to tell - I am still in the planning phase for all of that haha. I also think your introduction gives great historical context for the stories you are about to tell, because I really didn't know any of that information. After reading it I'm very interested to see where everything with you storybook goes!
ReplyDeleteI thought the Introduction was very informative and gave the reader a preface to the collection of stories. Instead of talking deeply about the various stories at the beginning, you talked about your choice of style for the storybook. When there are more stories, this will help the reader prepare for the rest of the storybook.
ReplyDeleteI would include those pieces of information (i.e. writing in third person) at the end of the introduction instead of the beginning. Another suggestion would be to break up the first paragraph so the introduction looks less intimidating, or maybe add the image in the middle of the writing instead of the end.
That is so cool that, “Margaret Mauldin was the main instigator in revitalizing the Creek language and was actually a professor at the University of Oklahoma!” I took Cherokee for three semesters at OU, so I have an appreciation for the different Indian languages offered at our school.
Great job on your introduction! I am excited to read more about your Creek stories.
Your introduction was very interesting, and it looks like you'll have a solid framework upon which to write your stories. I'm glad you included the explanation of what New Fire is. Otherwise, I would've had no idea... I think that writing them in a first person point of view will be very interesting to read, and I wish you luck while doing it. For me, first person is sometimes the hardest to write.
ReplyDeleteThe stories you chose look like they definitely each teach a lesson, which seems like it was often the most important part of Native American tales. I'd suggest that you definitely focus on the lesson in each and make sure that it comes across in your first person retelling. I look forward to reading your Creek stories, and the picture you chose is really cool! Good introduction so far, and good luck on the rest of your storybook.
Hey Cameron! I thought your introduction was very informative as well; that's awesome that Margaret was apart of the University of Oklahoma. It gives your story a little bit more of a "homey" connection. I think your idea to include each of the morals of the story in your introduction also gives the reader a perfect idea of exactly what they are about to dive into. I also really enjoyed your first story, and I think your idea to change the stories to a first person point of view was an excellent choice. It gives the stories a lot more personality. I was a really easy read, and it flowed really well. The only minor revisions I would suggest would be in your story in the second to last paragraph I think it says "prefect" rather than "perfect". That's really the only noticeable thing I saw. Other than that, great job!
ReplyDeleteCameron, I enjoyed your first story in your Storybook. I thought your introduction establishes the theme of the Storybook well, but I do think it is at times too impersonal, and maybe an explanation of why you chose it or what interests you about Creek culture and stories. Your background was very valuable in setting up the context for the stories, though. I think that changing the layout of your site to be more colorful or engaging might add to the stories in an indirect way. I think still keeping your site simple will keep the focus on the stories, but adding some color will make it a little more interesting to look at. Also, I thought your text was a little small, so perhaps making it larger would make it easier to read for anyone who comes across it. Your photos were great, and add to the story in a great way. The cow was adorable, and I’m glad he discovered that he is perfect just the way he is! I also can’t imagine eating a whole field of cabbage, but alas, I’m not a cow, and I’m glad for that.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI have already read your introduction before and I was really looking forward to reading your stories. As I said before I love your website, it is clean and easy to read! However, the font size and the font color for “Cow Wants a Knife” is way smaller and MAY be a different color than the rest which makes that story difficult to read.
ReplyDeleteWhat an excellent story “Cow Wants a Knife” was! I love the way you added more inner dialogue of the Cow so that you knew what he or she was thinking. Being happy with yourself is a great lesson for everyone to learn. I think it’s getting harder and harder everyday in our world for people to be happy, period. I think most people tend to want to be bigger, smaller; taller, shorter; blonde, brown; that we tend to forget to be happy with just who we are.
Waddup Cameron! I read your introduction a few weeks ago, so it was good to come back and read your first story. I thought it had a great message and was really creative. I thought the whole perspective was cool and something everyone could learn from. Be happy and satisfied with what you have. It was cool that you told this story through a cow. Very unexpected!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nicole, your website is very clean and crisp. This makes it easy to read and you broke up your paragraphs well which made your story flow really well. Besides that you did a great job and I didn't see many changes that needed to be made.
Thanks for the good story, I really enjoyed it and it was a great reminder for me! Looking forward to seeing where yo take your other stories.
Hey Cameron. I thought that your introduction was great. I'm glad you told us what "New Fire" was in the introduction because I would have had no idea. I also like that you give explanations/summaries of the stories that will be within your storybook before we read them. It is also cool that this is an interest of yours and I really liked that you gave some Creek historical details within your introduction.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your first story, "Cow Wants a Knife." I thought that it was an excellent lesson taught at the end. You also told it in a very creative way, which made it entertaining. In addition to that, you gave some great details that made it an even better read. Great job with your first story and I'm looking forward reading the rest.
Cameron,
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the theme of your storybook. Although it is very simple, I think it looks very great. Sometimes a clean look like that is the best look to go after. I also really enjoyed the fire picture that you used at the beginning of your storybook. It gave me a very warm feel upon reading your storybook. Your introduction did a great job at bringing me into the story. You did a great job writing it and it had a really good flow to it. After reading the introduction, I was really excited to get to read your stories. Also after telling us what “New Fire” was, it made a lot more since as to the picture of the fire that you used at the beginning. I read the story, “Cow Wants a Knife”. I thought it was a really great story. The details of the story were the best part and made it a lot more fun to read. Great work, and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
Cameron, your sight was very clean and simple. I think with the theme of the story I would have liked to have seen a little bit more color but your site was very clean and easy to navigate. The soft grey text against the white background was easy to make out and read. The first page made me think of being gathered around a campfire listening/ telling stories, so if that was your goal, then great job! The dialogue in your story “Stork Father” is excellent. It made me feel as though I was there in the story. You do a great job personifying Stork as the narrator; I imagine him as a large burly, stone-faced man. I did not catch any grammar or spelling errors but it does not hurt to read through the story one more time aloud to catch anything you or I may have missed. Otherwise, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Cameron,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I like the layout of your blog. Many people in this class have background pictures that are too busy and distracting. I think it was smart to choose a white background because it looks clean and it makes your text and pictures easy to view.
I enjoyed reading your introduction. I think that it's a clever idea to have retold the stories from the first person perspective because it makes the stories more personal. This helps the reader to really connect with the characters and the plot on a deeper level. In your first story, Cow Wants a Knife, I liked your use of dialogue.
My only suggestion would be to put the pictures in the middle of your story. That way it breaks up the text and makes it easier to view. Overall, great job. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the upcoming weeks.
Cameron,
ReplyDeleteI think your storybook theme of Creek stories id amazing! I am currently taking Cherokee so, it is cool to see someone else retelling other Native stories. I my Native American music class, we talked a little about the Creek culture and music. I even got to go to a Muscogee Creek performance last night and hear some of the members of a Creek church perform a few Muscogee Creek hymns and it was awesome. I liked your retelling of the Creek story of Cow Wants a Knife. The story was short, sweet, and to the point and the style of the story reminded me a lot of Aesop’s Fables. The moral or lesson of the story was very clear and I liked that you didn’t feel the need to over complicate the story and drag it out. I also liked that you put more of the cow’s thoughts and perspectives into the story. Good job with your storybook project!
Hey Cameron. For starters, I think the structure of your site looks great. It isn't too busy or complicated, just very simple and smooth. I enjoyed your introduction - it let the reader know exactly what to expect from the Storybook as a whole. I also appreciated the background you offered on the original stories, it makes reading your versions more interesting because the reader understands more. As for the stories themselves, they're well-written and don't seem to have much in the way of spelling or grammar problems. What you might consider is changing your introduction for each of them. It's effective in setting the stage and preparing the reader, but I think you could be more creative with it and provide more of a hook so that the reader really wants to keep reading. Once I got into them I found your stories to be very interesting, but a different intro could really serve to suck the reader in. All in all, a good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Cameron, I think you have done a great job with your storybook. I had not seen a storybook with the table of contents above the stories until yours, but I really like it. Your site is very easy to navigate and easy to read. The structure of your introduction was very informative and provided a lot of background that would help in the reading and understanding of your storybook. I think that was a good idea because there are probably a lot of people who are not familiar with these stories. The lesson's in your stories were really good as well. I liked how you focused on the character's feelings and I think it makes the lessons easier to realize and understand. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook and think you have done an awesome job. Thank you for the good read!
ReplyDelete